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Almost Perfect

Almost Perfect: Bad Scenes in Good Movies

Sometimes, even the greatest movies have moments that explain the existence of phrases like “gag me with a spoon”. These moments are so bad in the midst of “poetry” it it hardly seems possible, and even mere mediocrity can seem like a crime when one is brutally jerked out of temporary bliss. It may sound melodramatic, but it really sucks when you are having a great time only to have the moment die suddenly like a record dragged abruptly off the record.

Apocalypse Now is one of my favorite movies; I nearly know it by heart, I’ve read Eleanor Coppola’s Diary, watched Hearts of Darkness the documentary, read the Joseph Conrad novel, etc. But watching Apocalypse Now Redux, I am reminded of the added scene at the French Plantation, possibly one of the most boring scenes ever filmed. The movie comes to a slow, and increasing painful halt, like coming down from a high and realizing that you are going to experience the hangover before you get to pass out. It’s whiny, practically incomprehensible, and whatever point it does have was established earlier in the film. Because of this one scene I will usually just watch the original cut, which is a shame because I love some of the other added scenes, (like the second Playmate sequence.)

On the other hand, JFK is not one of my favorite films, but I found it entertaining enough. That is until I got to the final courtroom scene, which turned into a 30 minute lecture courtesy of Oliver Stone and Kevin (my voice sounds like I never finished the final stages of puberty) Costner.

It’s a movie people. Not therapy.

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